Sunday September 6, 2009

Last night I talked to my sis about dating a local girl and the prospect of being into a LD relationship.
By the end, we both realized that it would not work. Dating has been so hard to come by for the past years (The fact I'm going to matriculate in medical school soon even makes dating an impossible task). The seniors advised me that it's a big no-no.  Most of the day's hours are spent intensely studying and working so when I find myself with "free time", all I want to do is relax by myself. I'll watch a TV show, have a jog around downtown, or just sleep. The last thing i want to do is go out and spend the whole evening with someone. I just don't have the time and patience.
Well, You can make the time, can't you? I tried and it didn't work out for me. I just couldn't devote enough time to have a real relationship. The past relationship really scared me off. I'd rather feel lonely( and i always do during those quiet late nights  working in the lab or at the library.)
It's hard for other people to understand when your goal is not becoming a medical doctor and when you have not been through all the hardships to get into and get through medical school. And i keep saying to myself, just wait until you're through with medical school? then what? residency?? then fellowship? When will there be a light at the tunnel? or is it just another connecting tunnel at the end of the already existing tunnel?
I ask myself, "When will there be time? Will I end up old and alone without a family of my own? A small and simple family?"
People always say, "Love comes when you least expect it" and i wonder whether its true or not. Will I realize it when it comes or will I just be simply too busy to ignore the sign?

ONLY TIME WILL TIME

Sunday September 6, 2009

I guess my eagerness about studying in medical school has reached its climax.
And I dreamed about med school again this morning. :)