“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.”
~Randy Pausch
There are certain goals in your life for which success is a non-negotiable conclusion. It’s inevitable that the bus of your life is going to drive towards a fork in the road. The trick is to position yourself in the drivers seat.
My most current and biggest obstacle so far has been to get into dental school. If my whole story was simple, that “I applied, I got in, woot!” then it wouldn’t have been very inspirational. Luckily, for the story’s sake, it took me three years of applications, rejections, retaking the DAT, and upping the ante with a master’s degree in order to push my way through.
The whole process really humbled me, and at the same time made me really proud of what I can do when I put everything I’ve got into it. I’ve had the benefit of being very self-aware, and carefully analyzing the mental processes that I went through in order to reach this goal. I could have been depressed at the first rejection. I could have quit and found another line of work…I almost did…but I didn’t, because my brain thinks as follows:
- Cut Off Unsupportive People
I’ve long been going through the process of purging negative people from my life. The friends that were just great to party with, the people that were disgustingly pessimistic, and the ones that clearly did not have my best interests in mind. Getting rid of negative people opens you up to meeting new ones with qualities you respect and admire.Several months ago I had a friend ask me why am I still trying to get in, and why don’t I just give up and go and get a real job instead of trying for this dental dream. My girlfriend Marina had an awesome response to this onslaught. She said, “How can you live if you stop trying? That’s the formula for regret.” I like it a lot. I have to keep this Marina person around me more!
- Cut Off Plan B
I’m very inspired by a story of Julius Caesar that I heard from one of my personal development tapes years back. When Caesar’s ships landed on the enemy beach, he immediately ordered his army to turn around and burn down all of their own ships. This left only one option, plow through the enemy lines, no matter what, and on to victory.In my own life, I gave myself only one option, no plan B, no alternatives, and that option was to become the best Dental health professional in the world. Other options and job opportunities were presented to me, quite often, and I always thought of them as the “Serpent’s apple” which I refused to pick.
- Talk About Your Dream
Everyone that I encountered knew that my number one goal, the thing that I wanted so much I could taste it, was to get into dental school. I didn’t ask them for help, I presented myself as a passionate individual who has wanted to be a dentist since he was five years old and would stop at nothing to achieve this dream. People respect this form of sincerity.In fact, people would often times start trying to think of solutions to how they might help me, or who they knew in a great position to help me. Over three years, I got a lot of contacts, some of which were dead leads, but the sheer volume that was generated from me speaking about my number one goal created some golden opportunities and referrals.
- Believe In Yourself
You know those days: When you’re down on yourself, and you’re thinking about quitting. Perhaps you even start to entertain some good reasons for why quitting would be a good idea.*SLAP*
The trick is to give yourself a mental slap. Take those negative thoughts and nip them in the bud before the weeds overthrow the yard of your mind. Don’t be the kind of person that thinks this way.
It’s your job, not your friends or your parents, to believe that you’re the best. You must believe, deep in your soul, that whatever you have, whatever you’re selling is absolutely the air that everyone should be breathing. If you don’t believe you’re the best, and don’t do everything in your power to really be the best, then no one else will believe – so believe!
I’ve played a dangerous game my friends. I got a Masters degree, albeit educational and interesting, in a field that I didn’t want to spend my life working in – but I pushed on. I talked to everyone and their dog about my dreams, and encountered some pessimistic backlash – but I pushed on.
I even spent this summer studying to retake the admission test “just in case,” while having a promising spot on the waiting list, when I could have taken a vacation and hoped I’d make it off the list – but I pushed on.
Never stop trying, not while you’re still alive and capable. As I like to say… “If you have a dream, whether you have to go through those doors sideways, backwards, or jump in from the roof… don’t give up.”
